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HomeGuidelines > 1. Trim that Text!  > 1d. Make most paragraphs short> Challenges + Answers                            

 

Diagram

Background

Examples

Audience Fit

Challenges

Bonus! Hot Text chapter (99K, PDF, 2 minutes at 56K)

Challenges

Rewrite to make short paragraphs, revising freely.

(1)

As you consider purchasing a new handheld device, the thing to do before anything else is to endeavor to determine where and in what circumstances you might be utilizing such a device.

32 words

Answer =>


(2)

In my humble opinion, it is absolutely required that we all show courtesy to each and every member of the discussion list, just as we would show courtesy to people we meet and encounter on the street, or elsewhere, when we talk with them in person, if you know what I mean. We should all think this issue over in a serious way, I believe, so that we do not cause undue emotional disturbance for other members.

77 words

Answer =>

Answers

 

(1)

Before buying a handheld, decide where and when you will use it.

12 words

 

 

(2)

Please show courtesy to everyone in the list, as you would when you talk to someone in person. Otherwise, you may upset other members. Please think about this issue.

29 words

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(3)

Do you sense that your computer takes longer to find and open a file than it used to? You may have thought at first that you were just imagining the slowdown, but over time you have come to conclude that, yes, every time you ask a program to open a file, you have to wait longer and longer. A common cause of this gradual decline in performance is file fragmentation. You see, all the space on your hard disk is divided up into discrete areas, called clusters. When you ask the computer to save a file on your hard disk, the operating system breaks the file up into a whole series of pieces, each of which is the size of a cluster. When you first use your hard disk, a file can be easily fitted into a bunch of neighboring clusters, so you can open all the pieces quickly. But as time goes on, and you keep adding, changing, and deleting files on the disk, all those pieces of the original file may get scattered across the whole surface of the disk. The file becomes fragmented. Now the computer has to take longer to find all the pieces and bring them together for you to work with as a unit. That’s why you notice the slowdown whenever you try to open a file. Our Swoop utility can help. It examines the way the pieces of each file are laid out on the hard disk, then pulls together all the pieces in nearby clusters, for faster access. In addition, Swoop locates the occasional empty cluster, and moves those all together, to make room for any new files you need to save. The process of moving all the fragments of a file into contiguous clusters may take an hour or so, if you have a hard disk with 2 gigabytes of information on it. But after that cleanup, you will find you are not waiting around every time you choose Open from the File menu. Like Spring Cleaning, Swoop takes a while, but has long-lasting good effects.

345 words

Answer =>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(4)

Asking for Assistance from the Product Assistant

If you have a question about the Product application, you may be able to find the answer by asking the Product Assistant, a state-of-the-art wizard, based on natural-language analysis. For example, if you wanted to find out how to create a pricing table, you might type "How do I make up a pricing table?" and the Product Assistant would show you a list of topics. Hopefully, one of those topics would tell you what you want to know. Of course, sometimes the Product Assistant is not able to answer your question. In that case, you might want to click None of the above—the next-to-last item in the list of topics. In that case, you will get suggestions about how to write to the Product Assistant, or how to narrow your search by using more keywords. If you try again, and still do not get the information you want, you can choose the last item in the list of topics, Get Help on the Web, and you will go directly to our Product site, so you can search for what you need. In its default mode, the Product Assistant automatically provides Help topics and tips on tasks you perform as you work, because it is looking over your shoulder, and if it sees you writing something that it recognizes, like the word "Memo," the assistant will offer your tips on how to perform that task.

235 words

Answer =>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reflecting on Brevity

Everything that is needless gives Offense.--Benjamin Franklin

 

(3)

Does your computer take longer and longer to open a file these days?

You may be suffering from file fragmentation.

When you save a file on your hard disk, the operating system breaks the file up into chunks that fit into discrete areas on the hard disk, called clusters. When you have a new hard disk, the system can put all the pieces of one file into neighboring clusters, so you can open the file quickly.

But as you add, change, and delete files on the disk, the pieces of a file may get scattered across the whole surface of the disk.

In effect, the file gets fragmented. So the system takes longer to find all the pieces and put them together for you. You experience a slowdown.

Our Swoop utility can help. It pulls together all the pieces of a file and puts them in nearby clusters, so the file opens faster.

Swoop also locates empty clusters, and puts them all together, to make room for new files you want to save.

Moving all the fragments of a file into nearby clusters may take an hour or so, for a hard disk with 2 gigabytes of information.

But after that cleanup, you will not be waiting around when you choose Open. Like Spring cleaning, Swoop takes a while, but has good effects.

223 words

(4)

 

Getting Help from the Product Assistant

Ask the Product Assistant about the application. Just type any question into the box. The assistant responds with a list of topics. Click the article.

If none of the topics looks relevant, click None of the Above. (It’s the next to the last item in our list of topics). We’ll give you some tips on how to write to the Product Assistant, or how to narrow your search. (Use more keywords).

If you try again, and still don’t get the information you want, choose the last item on the list, Get Help on the Web. You’ll go directly to our Product site, where you can use Search to look for the information.

Notice that as you work, the Product Assistant regularly displays topics and tips on whatever you are doing. For instance, if the assistant sees you write the word "Memo," it offers tips on writing a memo.

154 words

 

Other ways to trim that text

1a. Cut any paper-based text by 50%.

1b. Use short words.

1c. Make some sentences short.

1e. Delete marketing fluff.

1f. Move vital but tangential or supplemental material.

1g. Convert repeating categories of information into tables.

1h. Beware of cutting so far that you make the text ambiguous.

Resources on brevity

Taking a Position on Brevity

Heuristic Online Text (HOT) Evaluation for Brevity

Poster

 

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