5c. Watch out for ambiguous phrases a reader must debate.
If you use a common term, let it mean what most people think it does. Do not wrench it around to mean something new, or unfamiliar.
Before:
Store the list in the library.
After:
Store the list in the file called lib.txt.
Before:
You have now killed the spawned consumer
process.
After:
You have stopped the process that the host
program started, expecting to collect the data
for its own calculations.
If you use a pronoun such as he, she,
it, or they, make sure that the
referent appears as the noun just before the
pronoun, in the same paragraph. Or replace the
pronoun with the noun you were
referring to.
Before :
The report from the budget group suggests
downturns in sales, manufacturing, and orders.
They are working on recommendations.
After:
The report from the budget group suggests
downturns in sales, manufacturing, and orders.
The budget group is working on
recommendations.
Before:
Degas was unhappy with Monet, one of the
leading artists in the movement, because he
advertised the exhibition.
After:
Degas was unhappy because Monet, one of the
leading artists in the movement, advertised
the exhibition.
Do not start a sentence with a solo This or That referring vaguely to the whole previous discussion. Say what you are talking about. This what? That what?
Before:
The sales of extra-thick glass have risen,
despite the economic downturn, and, in
particular, slowed construction. This now
leads to a workdown in our home and office
space supply inventory.
After:
Despite the economic downturn, and, in
particular, slowed construction, the sales of
extra-thick glass have risen. This growth in
sales means that we are now working down our
inventory of supplies for home and office
construction.
Use the same term for the same idea every time. Do not indulge in creative variations.
Before:
Click the Outline option on the View menu.
Click on Outline on View.
Choose Outline on the View menu.
Pick Outline off of the View menu.
After:
Choose Outline on the View menu.
Choose Outline on the View menu.
Choose Outline on the View menu.
Choose Outline on the View menu.
Preserve relative pronouns, such as who and that.
Before
The index containing all of your entries appears on the left side of the work window.
Send an alert to users logged in during the last session.
After
The index, which contains all of your entries, appears on the left side of the work window.
Send an alert to users who have logged in during the last session.
Use the articles "a," "an," and "the," to avoid telegraphic density.
Before
Turn knob clockwise to start engine.
After
Turn the knob clockwise to start the engine.
When referring to another page on the site, name the section, rather than assuming that the reader has already seen it ("As we have said before…")
Before
The latest news appears at the top.
After
The latest news appears in Press Reports.
Before
On the next level up, look for…
After
In the Oil Change Overview, look for….
Do not refer to another element of the current page by location (above, below, to the left, to the right). Refer to the heading for that element.
Before
…as shown in the table below.
After
….as shown in the Table of Results.
Before
If you go forward, you’ll see the trends.
After
You’ll see the trends in the Marketing Survey.
Before
To the right, the graph shows that the majority of our calls are for support on the new cellphone.
After
The majority of our calls are for support on the new cellphone. (See the Support Graph).
Other ways to make your text easier to understand:
5a. Reduce the number of clauses per sentence.
5b. Blow up nominalizations and noun trains.
5c. Watch out for ambiguous phrases a user might have to debate.
5d. Surface the agent and action, so users don't have to guess.
5e. Make a positive statement.
5g. Let users print or save the entire document at once.
Resources on thoughtlessness
Taking a Position on Thoughtlessness
Heuristic Online Text (H. O. T.) Evaluation of Cognitive Burdens
Don't make me think.